Phew

so reader, could you please teach me, how to be honest person. cause I wonder if I still be honest. In my whole life I keep lying to myself. I cheat on myself countless time. I telling myself that I could do this, I could do that. Till I realize, its like Queen song, No escape from reality. I,, Me,, Myself,, start to lose my confident lately. I try to remind myself the truly I am. I used to be cheerful girl. but look at me now. Working like hell. hell yeah, I forget to how to life. ... I done some civil service today. I realize I'm too tired. I doing some research, doing some university grant, do lecturing and stuff. almost have no time for myself.I even in deathline now for my book. 2 chapter left for it. I almost can't believe that Im still alive in this kind of situation. I stop my car and think. Where will I go after this? I buy 2 cans coffee, drinking while thinking,2 cans of coffee finish I still craving for more coffee, but I realize lot stuff...

Have you ever listen to Doraemon Opening song Indonesian Version? so my situation is kind like that verse. I want that, I want those, I want this, I want these, I want to  have a lot things and stuff. there are 2 (two) solution I suppose, first things first, is diet ;v I eat A LOT, Its been a months since I managed to stop my addicted to instant coffee and so black coffee (They called it Americano in Star Bucks), actually I loved black coffee to the bone ;v anyway Hence, I got fatter than before. 52 to 66kg; can you believe it ;v ! and Hence I'm have no confident to take picture. DOH! ;v anyway, I guess the first solution is diet, so I dont spend a lot of money to eat. (BECAUSE I LOVE TO EAT) and second thing to do is save money through bank saving (of course MIA, or people in other country call me MAIA) I gotta save money more to purchased new laptop, so tell me mia, what happen to the old one?? (asking myself) errr. let see,,, about that thing. I brought it to P...