Phew

Well, im in the middle of marking my students exam. I got like 13 class this semester, I thought gonna be the same like next semester. turns out when I counted 'em it more than 13 class. since 1 class will be divide into 3 so I supposed there are 16 or 17 classes. ;v almost can't breath. I think I understand why I'm getting fat. I forget to thanks to Allah. to busy counting what Allah give. but doesn't thanks Allah for giving me such a bless.  talking about count remind me about number.  We. maybe we are just number in this life. like in our civil card, people give us number to arrange our life.  im little bit dizzy now, because, like every semester I have to give number to a number. you got what I mean? marking the student paper -____ its not easy like the says. because this is bunch of class. I got to read all of it. and worst of all, give them mark. awch. if you were me you will understand why I got dizzy. cause most of stud

so reader, could you please teach me, how to be honest person. cause I wonder if I still be honest. In my whole life I keep lying to myself. I cheat on myself countless time. I telling myself that I could do this, I could do that. Till I realize, its like Queen song, No escape from reality. I,, Me,, Myself,, start to lose my confident lately. I try to remind myself the truly I am. I used to be cheerful girl. but look at me now. Working like hell. hell yeah, I forget to how to life. ... I done some civil service today. I realize I'm too tired. I doing some research, doing some university grant, do lecturing and stuff. almost have no time for myself.I even in deathline now for my book. 2 chapter left for it. I almost can't believe that Im still alive in this kind of situation. I stop my car and think. Where will I go after this? I buy 2 cans coffee, drinking while thinking,2 cans of coffee finish I still craving for more coffee, but I realize lot stuff

Have you ever listen to Doraemon Opening song Indonesian Version? so my situation is kind like that verse. I want that, I want those, I want this, I want these, I want to  have a lot things and stuff. there are 2 (two) solution I suppose, first things first, is diet ;v I eat A LOT, Its been a months since I managed to stop my addicted to instant coffee and so black coffee (They called it Americano in Star Bucks), actually I loved black coffee to the bone ;v anyway Hence, I got fatter than before. 52 to 66kg; can you believe it ;v ! and Hence I'm have no confident to take picture. DOH! ;v anyway, I guess the first solution is diet, so I dont spend a lot of money to eat. (BECAUSE I LOVE TO EAT) and second thing to do is save money through bank saving (of course MIA, or people in other country call me MAIA) I gotta save money more to purchased new laptop, so tell me mia, what happen to the old one?? (asking myself) errr. let see,,, about that thing. I brought it to P

Um.... seriously., I really have no Idea what to post today. Tehee but seriously, I'm really sleepy right now. I'm kinda miss a journey. A.K adventure. I think after this mess I would like to have long way run ;v feels like there is no ending for this opera of campus ;v

at least that was the sentence that written in the book they gave me on 6th UNESCO-APEID meeting last month, thou I more interest on my father book, the yellow one. its written word Peace in the book. WE ARE trying so hard to designing a RELEVANT and INNOVATIVE education through Recognition and Qualification in this world especially in ASEAN, EAST, and SOUTH ASIA thou some people don't understand it, Nothing would be done at all, if a man waited till he could do it so well that no one could find fault with it (anonymous, actually that was written in notes alumni UUM Tehee)  I try so hard, and got so far, in the end it doesn't even matter - Linkin Park. Who wants to know? All that is gold, is rusted - The Temper Trap

I'm so sorry tell you this all late , but maybe most of you already know that Mr. Gwang-Jo-Kim, former director of UNESCO Bangkok is already pass away. Check blog before ( The Boss ?). Because of the jetlag and all stuff that I try to cheat with myself (Like forget that I have lots stuff to do while working on it) makes me really forget that I got sad news from ASEAN-UNESCO 6th Summit. This is the picture when I met him for the first time. I got nothing to sell back then.  Im just fresh graduate from UUM When I got invitation from UNESCO meeting back October 2017 ago, I was hoping that I would met him again. but Allah makes it different. Deep condolence for Mr. Gwang Jo-Kim, I remember when He and my father give donation for Putra Jaya Mosque. I took a picture of it. Im pray that all of his sins will be forgiven by Allah. In this 6th summit, Alhamdulillah I met Dr. Libing Wang as the new Chief, Educational Inovation and Skills Development (EISD), UNESCO Bangkok, Thai

"Perfection is achieved , not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." -  Antoine  de Saint-Exupery I guess little prince is the first time I know about Antoine de Saint-Exupery. My favourite book author all the time. and so long story short, I found the another sequel of Antoine book, title is "Terre Des Hommes" In Indonesian version. It was on sale, luckyly ;v so I bought one, hoping I could finish it. But. up until now I don't really have a time to read the book ;v I guess tonight I will finish it but...in Philippine I purchased comic that I love when a was a child. guess what? I try to read it really. I hope this book long lasting hahaahha ARCHIE ! I found it in Philippine and the price is EXPENSIVE LIKE HEAVEN. if one day I found the book in garage sell I will punish myself by not eating ice cream for a month -_ archie in cartoon version

hold... hold on.. hold on to me cause I'm little unsteady.. little unsteady. this morning happen to listen the old song by X Ambassadors - Unsteady. If I'm not mistaken, the song is about children, feeling alone without his/her parents. because apparently the parent relationship is on the edge. and he/she asking their parent to hold em tight and don't let him go. this is not the new thing that happen to people around the world. broken home sure make people change, without attention from anyone, the family can be the example of the wrong family ever exist in this world. I happen have friends who suffering the broken home, and so I also happen to have one university student too. First time I saw her, her hair was painted by green color, I was wondering positive back than, I didn't judge her, because she seem nice to me, beautiful + good attitude. but one day my sister asking me about her, the question is like this : Sister :   Sis, that girl with green ha

HEY! im happy to tell you all reader that 1 out of 1000 my works (Im just being hyperbola here) down, 999 to go, LOL. This noon, finally I manage to join lunch with of most (or so called young) fellow lecturer . It was fun, I eat a lot. when I say a lot, I mean it, I really-really eat a lot of food. Eating with no manner (I mean table manner here) is the best thing that I loved the most LOL especially with friends. If you too bother with manner like, most girl have to eat with manner, you will only get suffer, and I didn't subscribe the suffering sir!, no sir, no!. I just love to eat suki and dimsum :) and so after lunch, one of my senior named nurly, I call ém with initial "Yuk na". Long short story I'm having so much fun today, I'm so happy like I'm gonna die ;v I put some video here, thou I'm not speak English here, hopefully reader loves it hahaha.

When I said I wanna study abroad. I get sick of bunch of people talking about money and integrity. seriously I don't even know what they are mean by Integrity now. the question just pop up in test, I can even explain it now. what is integrity again?? or you mean intergreedy? =_______ when I talk about the truth they suggest me while saying this word of wisdom,  ÿou got to have a rest somehow. wait a second isn't that lyric from song "Just say you wont let go";v anyway my work almost finish now, I can finally catch a breath. I wanna have some kind of holiday, go to nobody even know me wkwkwk. slumdog style. going around city without people even care.  I call it gembel style, I went to airport with sandals and typically slumdog look alike. no respect that I get. off course., no wonder.. suppose they listen to Sugababes, People are all the same, they only get judged by what we do My personality reflects me and if I'm

and so I'm currently listen to my favorite tune, Waiting for The end by Linkin Park. so hard to accept that the vocalist that I don't even bother to know his name is already past away. I heard from radio he was committed suicide because of father issues. work hard play hard dad, don't force your children do what he don't want to do, as long as he/she still on right path, Allah Almighty Path. anyway, What I like about Linkin Park is Mike Shinoda lyrics ( A Thousand Suns Album) This is not the end. This is not the beginning  Just a voice like a riot. Rocking every revision  But you listen to the tone. And the violent rhythm  Though the words sound steady. Something empty's within 'em  We say yeah, With fists flying up in the air  Like we're holding onto something. That's invisible there  'Cuz we're living at the mercy, Of the pain and the fear  Until we dead it. Forget it, Let it all disappear Every part that mike sangs is amazingly g

My friends once told me, don't take all things seriously. you listen to the song you always try to figure out what the song all about. for for short, WHY SO SERIOUS MIA?! Seriously.... I cant stop being serious in some occasion. Then this morning I remember one of Plain White song named Serious Mistake. The song is about the guy who seldom going to church but he desperately looking for pastor (perhaps, seriously I can't tell which one Pastor or Pope) for confession, he want to admit that he make serious mistake and he seek forgiveness from God. I dont know if people got to pay for confession these day in the church but, During the middle ages after the fall of roman empire, church was the one of those group who promote the corruption. As you can see the pictures below. (Google, 2017) If you want to read the book or your alkitab (in my case Al-Quran) we have the same types of how to asking forgiveness from Allah. Asking for forgiveness in Islam is not alw

Mabohay; LOL latepost 22 Oktober 2017 4 hours flight with Airasia = almost died in heart-attack :LOL actually there are a lot things to say, Well, I must admit that I'm doing kind of dangerous stun things that I never done before. LOL I causing a lot of scene, but I keep trying to approve my theories. I intend to know all people who involving in money game and backpackers stuff that causing people all around the world a lot, and it mostly destroy relation between state and non states. I want to know how the most wanted people and corruption took away their money out of countries. as a matter of fact it cause me double of my healthiness but I don't care anymore, for the sake of the better future, I think is worth to try. I dont want to share that things this moment, but I would like to write a book about it. a bit spoiler, in result not all theories are still applicable to use in all of circumstance. but I think I just crack the code of how this world works.

2017; 21st centuries; nothing much change; the way of the world works. we still judging each other, when the real judge were blind.  we are playing God, when the real God doesn't even playing with us. the promise is real though some still denying. some believer stay believe on, some believer were blind when the other pretend to be blind.  I'm still wondering when this world gonna ends, how this world going to end. a couple days ago I have to met a couple; well, I do remember much about what happen and what conversation goes along but the thing that bother me the most is when one of them says  " are you sure?, or it just your imagination ?" Very well, a cruel thing to says lady, I reply.  I must admit that kinda harsh, I thought I'm was the most harsh people in this world ;v I know I dream a lot, almost can't tell which one is real and which one wasn't but I never though that question will be asked ;v but I wasn't angry back t

Ever heard song from Indonesia named Bunga di tepi jalan? that was folks song but got recycle and sang again by Sheila on 7. I ever wonder is Sheila on 7 ever have haters? ;v Anyway, I just remember the old song that I used to heard on radio back then when I was University student. It was sang by Lil Wayne featuring Eminem. I saw the video and I know it was about bully. the first verse from Lil wayne was Throw dirt on me and grow wildflower - Lil Wayne according to Genius.com, its about Lil Wayne throwing the statement to haters that he wasn't care about the haters, like Taylor Swift in her song, haters gonna hate, and we will make them pay for what they done. and Eminem , Marshall, on the chorus sings You showed me nothing but hate, you ran me into the ground, but what comes around goes around. In Indonesia we have the same things, same idiom or haiku that saying Apa yang kau tanam, itu yang kau tuai what you do, good or bad deeds, it will back to you lik

I just remember one of my favorite character in Warcraft before it turn and change name to DOTA. errr. But I forget the name of character. It was a girl. An Elf. But all thing that I could recall is they would says Justice shall be done and for my honour, brother and kingdom. I'm currently working on some project and so many distraction. my mom says this is Allah test, now I just telling myself again while listening to song in my head, it was Bruno Mars, Mirror "mirror on the wall, here we are again ;v" anyway I got to finish this fight. I don't know how long and how much it takes. for once again maybe I could rely on some quotes from Snoopy and Peanuts.

Sometimes when you try to gazing the sky you will realize something wrong about our mind set. One thing for sure, I'm not afraid anymore. They got my back.

I got the vision that I falling hard again. This time I feel, the pain is real. nothing more killing that feeling betrayed. Don't try to hugging me while stabbing me. because I have enough already.

Well, Im currently typing this blog with mouth full of fruit while telling myself stop memorizing ;v though one thing for sure I remember a thing that I don't want to remember ;v I been some part of this world from desert land to frozen land, I flew with airplane passing through islands just to meet you in this archipelago. the question is when will you come to pick up your princess? but let me finish my word, let me finish my work ;v

I'm kinda on pinch these days. and im not gonna lie for it. so tired and I dont even have to try-_ in the middle of deadline. okay, I got to be jury on my student event on 3th of October, 6th October the final dateline for University research, if I pass administration test as civil lecturer, I got CAT (Computer Assisted Test) to be done on 11th October and I was wowowowwoowowwowowoow.. okay, and then type this blog. Immmmaaaaaa stresses out but I kind act like I'm not. is it normal? ;v but anyway I listen to my old track again ;v We will not go down (Gaza) by Michael Heart (2009) well, Start to think again, that my problem just like tiny little snowflake that fall from the sky compare to their. like protozoa compare to other people who struggle for their life now, people on streets. ok Mia, stop typing this post and done your homework. yeah, LIKE RIGHT NOW! YEAH IM NOT GONNA DOWN IN THIS MOMENT V; I suppose you too reader, no matter how heavy the burden i

How do you define Edge?? Just like another day, I remember the old song, my song when I try to finish my degree. Closer to the edge by Thirty Seconds to Mars. if you happen to watch video you might thing that I'm sort of like lose my faith, or turn on the radio as the substitute of prayer. No, No, No, No (;v well this is maybe sound like the lyrics of the song). No, I'm not one of them. not even close. sorry to say, The first time I heard that song it was from radio. I like the spirit!, the song was about the lead actor in the song was on the edge. He was fighting over something and he is about to make his life better. This kind of song trigger people in different way, you could check on their video. People translated it to different point of view. Some people just lost in their ways and some of them happen to found the ways. Well then, I tell you what, that is why we born in this world, to fight for it. In Islam We called it Jihad. Jihad is fight against demon

I went to pray tahajud this night; the more I pray the more I know. Allah Almight is Great.

You have a bad day... you sing a sad song, just to turning around.  Well at least that was my favorite song back then when I still doing my bachelor degree. Until I have enough listen to sad songs. Well, I prefer to listen to the sad song when I'm happy and other way around. well sound strange, but it just me ;v so lately, I feel like people no longer talk their feeling inside the chest and mind but they talk about it loud and clear. It feels like the wind eavesdropping their trash talk and send it back to me. Its all echoing in my ear and I can't help it but heard it. for example: two days ago. Well, im in the middle of doing sort of University work and stuff, so I went to nearest mall near University with 3 (three) students of mine. 2 (two) of them is girls, one free hair another wearing hijab and another one is boy. all of them is good looking. If we go around the city I feel like all eyes on us. We can't really help it, they are beautiful creatures ==. anyw

i been wondering why they called it checkmate when the king was closer to the edge. checkmate.... hem. I still figure it out.

you know what??? no, what??? So apparently my father have problem with his ear. well all because he has bad habit; hearing AlQuran while sleep. AlQuran recital on YouTube. I can't help it thou. so sometimes, He does hearing what I am saying. sometimes, He doesn't. same thing happen with my mother. Turns out people near by thinking that I'm maybe playing with my father when the opposite thing happen or maybe apparently I just happen to shout at my father or my mother for that matter. well all because I just to tired to answer Frequently Answers and Questions. but we can't disobey our parent, can we??? I don't know either but, You know that what they say Wood doesn't grow from tree ;v (little rascal, 1994) After all, Allah Almighty is the only one who know that My love for them is from the moon to the back. on the other hand, Now, all people who happens read this Blog know. ;v tehee...

You mean this is it?

I just discover another thing. stop. better stop reminiscing . wake up and make a better change I don't know much about words of wisdom, just happen to heard from any song that playing on radio. after all in 90 era, i loved to listen to the radio, you know what happen in 90'. Walkman was the trend (well I suppose today just the same, they just changed name, Ipod, or whatsoever you know it, people no longer using floopy disk, or even vintage vinyl records for that matter) alhamdulillah, bless to be born in Indonesia. even handmade is working just fine. Nothing wrong with it, listen to any song on radio and it just feel right. You know what, Alhamdulillah, nothing bless me more that got iman in my heart. Faith is everything.I got Islam in my heart and im bullet proof :D Aamiin of course not literally bulletproof (there is no way that I could stand bullet passing through my chest :v)   Remember , if Allah almighty wills, so is so, Kun Fayakun  Anyway I gotta g

Thinking I was born in the wrong time; One of a kind, living in a world gone plastic Baby you're so classic. MKTO,2013

ever heard this hadist before? InsyaAllah, If God wills, I solemnly swear I'm always practice what I'm preaching, now its time for me to reminding myself again, before this cold world turning myself crazy till I scream out bloody murder. I have no capacity to translate this following hadist, I hope you could help yourself with this inconvenience. thank you. Demi Allah, seandainya jenazah yang sedang kalian tangisi bisa berbicara sekejab, lalu menceritakan (pengalaman sakaratul mautnya) pada kaliannya, niscaya kalian akan melupakan jenazah tersebut, dan mulai menangisi diri kalian sendiri"(Imam Al-Ghazali mengutip atsar Al-Hasan)  Source: Valeria Paramita, accessed on 09/09/2017 15:03 GMT +7 from https://www.academia.edu/11874420/ZIKRUL_MAUT

i wonder what the hecky happen in this is world lately? well that beyond me though. like adam from maroon 5 sing. its beyond me; i cant carry the weight of the heavy world. now i give it all back to you Allah. like I always do. people only see but they dont observe so says sherlock holmes. Now i understand why the author name his character that way. its always mean to be lock.. mute.

seems like it was only yesterday when I watched Death Note Anime. Ryuk, one of shinigami or god of death or also know as reaper saying that Human are so Interesting. (Source : https://id.pinterest.com/pin/506232814346777900/, taken on 26/8/17- 20:50 WIB) if you never watched this anime or read the manga before (well I read this manga when I was 16 years old, I supposed), this anime/manga is about the Shinigami, named ryuk, intentionally drop his death note (book with power, you able to kill anyone you know with condition that you know his/her face as well as their real name). Turns out the book was founded by light yagami, brilliant first year law student. Light yagami; with his brilliant brain thought that he would be the Seigi No Mikata  or Ally of Justice if used that death note to kill all criminal and all the gang. for that matter, Ryuk enjoy the show, while saying humans are so interesting. I see no flaw on that story,except there is no God in there. I supposed t

I'm staring at my computer now while thinking, what the hecky I'm doing right now. I been test myself through the limit. and this agony feels like asking me, is this all worth it to do?. what do you know about the appreciation?, I start to afraid that this kind of situation will makes me forget the meaning of that word. I try to recall back what I do in my past, how Past  Mia ever passed this kinda hard times. I pray and cry so hard, then later I remember. Maybe I just forget how to breath, how to be relax. For Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. For truly with hardship comes ease (QS: 94 : 5-6) and then again I remember now, Takarabako ni KYOUMI wa nai kedo  - One Piece, We are (Original Sountrack) I'm not interested in treasure anyway. that's the meaning of that lyric. Bismillah. I can't believe I'm actually forget what col. Hannibal Smith said, no matter how random things might appear there is still a plan.  Here we go again :) I

Hi reader, I been busy for awhile, when I say I'm busy, I'm literally saying that IM TOTALLY BUSY. In spite of, despite of working making me crazy, there are also several drama that killing me now. I cant really talk about it though since it's kind of confidential. Although I got to admit that I'm not fine but I gotta make it through anyway.

All that I want is to wake up fine - Paramore  Just that simple, yet reality is not that simple. the thing is I think too much. beyond my capacity. guess I just need a little break. 

Why you chose to become a lecturer? well most of people like me will answer this kind of question like this : No, it was a last resort ;v tehee. well, its true I'm not gonna lie. but lately I been thinking, I just like the way my student interact each other and those curiosity. Well, in spite of, despite of this job makes me stress out, deep in my heart I think, I kinda love my job now.

hi blogger, its been awhile ey? I'm kinda in pinch these days. kinda stress of my career mostly. starting to think to continue Ph.D but I don't know yet. errrr where do I begin....

just another day, I sitting in front of my nephew. he currently eating his fried chicken while watching football. sometimes he asks me to tell him story. well,, i don't know much about story for children. but if i tell him any story he actually heard it. even buy it :v funny thing about him. he eating his fried chicken first, he eating rice right after the chicken finish. he eating so slow makes me frustrated :v i ask him do you wanna eat ice cream? and he reply, nah! i don't want to. i don't know but somehow i felt better cherish this moment. after he grow up, we won't have another chance like this

oh, im in agony. ;v went to meeting for scholarship. well, it always bring me down. always ;v seven is something ey. not to mention three years hahaha. ya Allah. dimana akan kucari ;v hahahaah

how were you to know? you are disgrace all man over the world ! this time I mean it ;v

How were you to know? How were you to know that how we will end up? I been sitting in this chair for very moment staring at the blinking cursor while thinking, typing and erase it again, over and over again.

Hi readers; I been wondering, if you happen to have time machine like Doraemon, what will you do? if it was me, I think I would turn back to time when I was university student. I would ask my past me. Hey! whats makes you able to do this :v I'm so lazy these days. get no desire and passion like I used to. Dull!!!!!! I bet she will says you are need challenges and new adventures ladies ;v I guess I got to save more money and write more journal, gotta follow seminar or conference. Yeah! that is what I need it now ;v

I got weird dream, I guess its all because I watch one piece too much ;v anyhow I felt tired lately and agony as well. because I felt like holiday is just too short. and somehow lot stuff to do. they filled up like mountain. shit happens a lot ey? Depression is a little bit like happy hour, right. It's always gotta be happening somewhere on any given night. - Patrick Stump

-______ I can't believe i spend one month salary for buying book ;v hopefully this all worth it. aamin. I spend my money on the regular miracles just like you, like me, like everybody else ;v   - New politics 

There is once a time when my fellow friend tell me a story about religion stuff and it goes like this (I kinda modified this story for good because it might cause harm to my friend if he happen to read this, right?) A: so our other friend harshly says in group we don't have to say Happy Christmas  with our christian friend and turn out it create chaos since there is christian friend inside the group chat B: well, he didn't done wrong. A: If you were like that, then we got to stop use Instagram, Facebook, Google. They made them anyway B : :v *shoot,.where did I go wrong???* Well reader, says happy Christmas and using stuff that christian made is have no relation, definitely different thing. when we used it, it nothing to do with our Aqidah (Faith). We used it for our business, as long as no related with faith, then its nothing. but. when we says Happy Christmas, though you might thing that talk is cheap, we just say it but we don't do it is totally wrong. wh

shoot. bunch of works already haunt me v;. Something bothering me lot, paper, I try to be paperless but instead, I suppose I'm one of those people who responsible for global warming ==''. now im in the middle of printing ebook, though I got to admit, I try so hard to stop using lot of paper but I just can't help it ;v I hope I could purchase Ipad soon v; aamiin

I been away from home like 2 days. I just notice something that i just need away from crowded. seeking for the inner peace for start my book. instead I go travel with my friend. indeed; i got nothing but painback hahaha well sure fun to have away from duty. but still i go with family of my friend. just to getting used to away with strangers. anywho i think i start to believe the cheerful people inside of me start to fade away. look plastic how i become:v i just cant express my self anymore instead of laughing. laughing in almost circumstances:b